The Funiture Merge

9a77b7110560ecd2_mail-22After the apartment hunt is finally over, beating around the bush is a long-forgotten concept… so assessing each other’s belongings with brutal honesty is a natural impulse.

You may find yourself hearing things like “It’s time for that Princess-Barbie vanity to find a home with a nice 13 year old and her tea set” or saying things like “If you even try to bring any of that ugly cheap-ass wicker furniture with you I’ll take it out back and set it on fire along with your weird tiki man collection.”

Don’t worry, this is a perfectly healthy way to go through the process of elimination.

In our particular case, this left us with absolutely nothing but two empty mattresses.

With a whole lot on “Go” list and virtually nothing to fill out the new place, the next task was ridding of the old and budgeting for the new! One idea is to sell things off in the online garage sale known as Craigslist! It’s actually much easier than I thought. I received over 20 emails in only an hour when I posted two dressers and that “Princess-Barbie vanity” SOMEBODY referred to it as. Blatant proof of my great taste.

When a nice man came by to pick up all three pieces his wife claimed (clearly another of great taste), my boyfriend HAD to ask who they were for. The man responded with for his 11 and 13-year-old daughters.

A smug smile and a glance in my direction, “Yup.. Sounds about right.”
It’s still a touchy subject with me….

Important tip about selling stuff on Craigslist:
BE CAREFUL. No no not because of the Craigslist Killer. You do NOT want to forget to empty one drawer, and have that nice man drive back with a bag full of your lacy underwear and several pieces of a slutty Halloween costume you swore you never wore. The humiliation will be inevitable and that nice little family will definitely think of you as the freak they bought little girl furniture from. Just something I learned!

When the shoe is on the other foot and it’s your other half’s turn to clear out the old, move swiftly. Keep him on one task that will distract him, like a closet, while you do a quick sweep of the apartment, quietly and very considerately, trashing all things you never want see again.

Every two minutes or so you may hear, “Babe, come take a look at this.” Only go everything fifth or sixth time or else you’ll spend the entire day hearing stories of the college days and looking at old pictures with awful haircuts. Some things just can’t be unseen and that lease is already signed so go at your own risk.

I’m still not ready to talk about some of the things I saw… Okay I’ll say it.. he had ROLLER BLADES!

I guess this is what they’re talking about when they say compromise. Make a deal. You both get one ridiculous item the other has to deal with. I chose my awesome personalized license plate from my obsessed-with-the-movie-Almost-Famous-days (the 8387907023e9bd1b_mail-22-1“Almost” with an “L” was taken) and my boyfriend got to keep one of his angry little Tiki men with a face that looks like it’s crying really hard.


They sit together in a corner of our new place. See compromise!
Other than that, starting fresh is the way to go. You’ll break the bank a little but when its all set up, both of you will think it was worth it.