The walls, shower door and even ceiling wind up splattered in dirt and the spot where he stands is perfectly marked by two black, foot-shaped smudges.
This is not an exaggeration; Scrubbing Bubbles and a bucket of bleach are no match for the kind of damage he’s done in a 10-minute rinse. Trust me, I’ve scrubbed.
If you’ve just moved in with a man, kiss your pretty white towels and rugs goodbye and plan to do a lot of replacing.
You can save money if you learn what time the mail man comes to your new building. When all the boxes are open, do a quick run through and collect all your neighbors Bed Bath and Beyond 20% off coupons. You know everyone gets them.
Hopefully your situation won’t be so traumatic. I did pause to consider maybe this isn’t normal…
Someone should really do a study on the man who has only used bars Irish Springs soap everyday for the last 28 years.
It’s his shampoo, conditioner, body wash, deodorant, hand soap, probably detergent and I shutter to think what else.
In all seriousness, I actually worry. How he’s not growing bright orange hair and four leaf clovers all over his body is miraculous… or should I say lucky!
I understand you can get 40 bars for two dollars but… shouldn’t that in it’s self be a red flag?
Ok.. and I know this is just a weird pet peeve I have, but for whatever reason it drives me nuts when people brush their teeth in the shower.
I didn’t grow up doing it like some people and I just don’t buy the “saving water” line.
—you’ll be standing there brushing just as long as you would be by a sink but there a lot more water coming out of a shower head than a facet and I really doubt anyone’s turning it off between rinses.—
Anyway, the next thing I know I’m sharing a bathroom with a shower-brusher, and I’m mostly just peeved that anytime I need the toothpaste I have to go reaching in the shower to find it.
Like any good girlfriend, I tried to change this habit.
I learned my lesson when I spent the next week cleaning toothpaste spit off the mirror twice a day…splatter everywhere… like he can’t even lean over the sink a little!
Now I’m not going to pretend to be the perfect person to share with. I have a million creams for this, ointments for that and about 15 different products I’m told a bar of Irish Springs could take the place of….plus there was that self-tanner incident…
Week-1 of living together I spilled a bottle of the goopy, brown tanning lotion on the bathroom floor. I wiped it up using toilet paper then threw the heap of dirty crumpled wads into the bathroom trashcan.
Not realizing how it might look, I came home later to find my boyfriend standing with his back pressed against the wall starring at the trashcan with a disgusted look, debating if he should ask me about it or pretend he doesn’t see a thing.
On going list of purchases to remain hygienic and limit awkward moments:
2 tubes of toothpaste
Windex for the mirror
2 more shower matts for back up
A towel rack
Organizers for under the sink
All products by Mr. Clean, Clorox and Lysol
A Swiffer Wet Jet
And a book called Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff to help me sleep at night.
As some incentive, I’m trying to think up a monthly prize for my boyfriend if he helps keep the bathroom clean.
I don’t have any ideas yet but for some odd reason he really responds to anything shaped liked hearts, stars, clovers…horseshoes and blue moons!